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[CATATAN HARIAN SAYA] Only the ones who have accepted everything, can get the right to know the truth... - Yogyakarta, 27 April 2017.

Saturday, December 24, 2016

Sekali Lagi Soal Bullying | Once Again About Bullying

Pict and news source: https://www.facebook.com/boredpanda/posts/10154870580519252
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English version below:
I've read several articles in both scientific and popular publication, children and teenagers who like to bully the animals and plants, such as wounding and even killing them, most likely in the future they could be a psychopath / cold-blooded killer. This issue is trivial, but this proves that the attention to the issue of bullying that our children and teenagers do against animals / plants / even humans is still relatively low specially in my country. Although many NGOs / government commission / and those experienced speakers that continuously spoken about the topic should not buly children and teenagers physical / sexual / verbal, just the opposite side is almost no serious discussion in the national level to discuss the opposite effect, what if, again what if, instead of children and teenagers got bullied, they bully the animals / plants / other human first ???

In my personal experience that I saw a few days ago, where there is a child of the course participants sewing at my wife home who caught naughty (scribbling on the walls of the room houses a course with a permanent marker), notified and reprimanded nicely not scolded, kept out of the house kicking kicking and plucking the leaves of house plants. Things may be trivial at first glance now.

Not to mention the deprivation of my wife's bike locks by teenagers in one particular religious places of worship in the name of just humor. And they all use the bike for speeding without wearing a helmet on the road. And they are not apologized  about it at all. Yes they joined the  religious activities together and their parents are the officials high ranks member at the places of worship. Ah it's already commonplace. What we say it just a children and teenagers common failure now. Most of us will be said like that. But once again this is proved, children's behavior today is the result of parental education in the past. If it is so, rarely almost no parent wants to apologize because of their children or teenagers faults to his/her victim's behavior.

And once when I was so young, when I made a mistake to the neighbors, my parents dragged / forcibly took me as a child to come to their house to apologized. Sure it was no fun but it has good effect today. I learned to respect the other.

If with the creatures of God's most helpless like plants, the children and teenagers are already so 'evil' today, and then what about God's creatures which more able to speak, eat, and very, very possibly disagree with their behavior in the future (see about the violence and intolerance news phenomenon in the name of religion in my country today).

An important issue is extremely rare to be found in the readings and discussions of parenting in my country also.

Remember, escalation / increase rate in cases of violence today is mostly proof of the failure pattern of parental education, family, and religion in the past. Which just not allow and simplify ignorance everything without regard to the interests of others around us in the past time.

Will we repeat these bad things today? Please do not hesitate to inform, remind, rebuke, even if necessary to educate children with hard actions when its needed, because what becomes of them in the future is what we do today.

It said that children and teenagers are the future investment for both parents and the nation. So, what kind of investment we have done for them today :( :( :( ???

This post in English version was published also in http://www.boredpanda.com/once-again-about-bullying/

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Bahasa Indonesia below:
Saya pernah membaca dalam beberapa artikel ilmiah dan populer, anak-anak dan remaja yang suka mengerjai-menjahili hewan dan tanaman, semisal melukai bahkan membunuh mereka, besar kemungkinan di masa depannya bisa menjadi seorang psikopat/pembunuh berdarah dingin. Isu ini memang sepele, tapi ini membuktikan bahwa perhatian terhadap isu bullying yang dilakukan anak-anak dan remaja terhadap hewan/tanaman/ bahkan manusia masih tergolong rendah di negara kita. Walau sudah banyak LSM/Komisi2/ dan pakar2 yang mengangkat topik jangan membuly anak-anak dan remaja secara fisik/seksual/verbal, justru sebaliknya hampir tidak pernah ada pembicaraan serius tingkat nasional guna membahas efek yang sebaliknya, bagaimana jika justru anak-anak dan remaja sendirilah yang membuly hewan/tanaman/manusia lainnya???

Pengalaman pribadi yang saya saksikan beberapa hari yang lalu, di mana ada anak dari peserta kursus jahit di rumah istri saya yang ketahuan nakal (mencoret-coret dinding rumah ruang kursus dengan spidol permanen), diberitahu dan ditegur baik2 bukan dimarahi, terus keluar rumah menendang-nendang dan mencabuti daun-daun tanaman rumah. Hal yang sepintas mungkin remeh sekarang.

Belum lagi kasus perampasan kunci sepeda motor istri saya oleh remaja-remaja di salah satu tempat ibadah agama tertentu atas nama bercanda. Dan mereka bertiga gunakan sepeda motor itu untuk kebut-kebutan tanpa pakai helm di jalan. Dan mereka tidak minta maaf soal itu sama sekali. Ya padahal mereka ikut kegiatan agama bersama dan orangtua mereka adalah petinggi di tempat ibadah tersebut. Ah sudah biasa. Namanya juga anak-anak dan remaja sekarang. Tapi sekali lagi terbukti, kelakuan anak adalah hasil didikan orangtua. Kalau sudah demikian, jarang ada orangtua yang mau sampai meminta maaf pada korban hasil kelakuan anaknya.

Padahal dulu, saat saya berbuat salah pada tetangga, orangtua saya langsung menyeret/mengajak paksa saya sebagai anaknya untuk datang ke rumah mereka minta maaf.

Kalau dengan makhluk Tuhan yang paling tidak berdaya saja mereka sudah demikian 'jahatnya' bagaimana dengan makhluk Tuhan lainnya yang bisa bicara, makan, dan amat sangat mungkin tidak setuju dengan kelakuan mereka di masa depan (lihat berita-berita fenomenan kekerasan dan intoleransi atas nama belakangan ini di Indonesia).

Isu penting ini amat sangat jarang saya temui dalam bacaan-bacaan maupun diskusi parenting di Indonesia.

Ingat ekskalasi/peningkatan kasus dan tindak kekerasan Indonesia saat ini juga adalah bukti ketidakberhasilan pola didikan orangtua, keluarga, dan agama di masa lalu. Yang membiarkan dan menggampangkan segala sesuatunya tanpa memperhatikan kepentingan orang lain di sekitar kita.

Maukah kita mengulang kembali hal-hal tersebut saat ini? Jangan segan-segan untuk memberitahu, mengingatkan, menegur, bahkan bila perlu mendidik anak dengan keras bila dibutuhkan, karena apa jadinya mereka nanti adalah apa yang kita perbuat saat ini.

Katanya anak-anak dan remaja adalah invertasi masa depan orang tua dan bangsa. Jadi, investasi macam apa yang telah kita lakukan buat mereka :( :( :( ???

This post in English version was published also in http://www.boredpanda.com/once-again-about-bullying/

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